FOREWORD CLARION REVIEW
REVIEWER: JILL ALLEN
"Spouses of alcoholics will oftentimes experience their own symptoms of dependence and struggle alongside their partners as they both journey toward recovery. These spouses are known as co-addicts.
Interweaving her story and that of her acoholic husband's with research from addiction-recovery specialist, Alice Lebron, Addie Lee illustrates how co-addicts and their partners can successfully navigate through dependence to health in her bracingly honest and concise book, It's Okay to be Dumbfounded, Just Don't Stay That Way!
In the first part of the book, the alternating voices of Addie and her husband,Geoff, plunge readers into the intimate and often rocky road of families with an alcoholic member. Poignant vignettes take readers along for the ride--from a roller-coaster courtship to a triumphant, alcohol-free life. Lee's juxtaposition of her story with that of Geoff's will convince skeptics that co-addicts must also undergo their own wellness process.
The author writes about maintaining a superwoman persona while Geoff's drinking worsens. Her constant anxiety over her husband's behavior is palpable and will make even the calmest of readers jittery. She narrates with painful candor the effect of his disease on their children. Young Kevin and Sally act out, making readers ache for them. Refreshingly, Geoff comes across as a remorseful man, worried for his family as he flounders to find a balance among his cravings, work, and home life.
Although many readers may posses general knowledge of the phases of alcohol addiction and recovery, Addie's experience as a co-addict is instructive for spouses of addicts and can help them realize they are on a parallel journey with their dependent partners. Her openness helps readers feel less alone and a useful resource list at the close of the volume provides information on where to get help.
The author's raw honesty about the important subject
of co-addiction will be valuable to anyone who has experienced substance abuse or has lived with an alcoholic. It is also a good reference for substance-abuse treatment professionals."
ADDICTION TODAY- MARCH-APRIL, 2012 ISSUE
ADDICTION RECOVERY FOUNDATION UK/EURUOPEAN
REVIEWER: SUZANNE GOOCH
"I was inspired by this personal story of recovery, written by a co-addict (co) or enabler. It is about two people in an unhealthy, despairing relationship that is dominated by alcohol and substance abuse. The alcoholic and the co tell their stories, side by side, giving the reader each of their two perspectives.
We read the author's denial about her husband Geoff's disease while she juggles family life with her blossoming career. She explains how salvaging their relationship took both parties to surrender to a recovery process because all family members become victims of addiction. She discusses how she came to accept that she could not change anyone but herself, so she had to let go and get on with her life.
In recovery, Addie and Geoff become a team. She explains that,for the relationship to properly recover,
it took total commitment on the part of the co and the addicted person including committing to a 12-step fellowship, undergoing therapy, but most of all..... becoming willing.
Part II of the book outlines an expert's five stages of recovery for co-addicts/addicts, including tips and tools for each stage. It's Okay to be Dumbfounded is a facinating book for both co-addicts and addicts and offers an incredible insight into the worlds and perspectives of each party. I highly recomment it to anyone in a partnership where there is alcohol-or substance-misuse issues."