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Co-Addiction Free

with Addie Lee

My Blog


My Message from "The Girl On The Train"

Posted on February 18, 2015 at 5:47 PM
If anyone wants to acquaint themselves about spiraling, out-of-control alcoholic behaviors, pick up the book "The Girl On The Train" by Paula Hawkins just released for sale. You will read main character Rachel Watson's personal accounting of her seeming acknowledgement of her alcoholism and her attempts to sober up, her description of her craving for a drink/s, her acts of concealment, the black-outs she experiences which terrorize her when she is unable to remember just "what she did", and the shame she feels after each addiction episode.  By her description all of the behaviors she talks about signal that she is in the final stage of her addiction. She is unable to control her drinking.  You will also learn how her ex-husband Tom shows his co-addictive behavior as he tries to control her and her drinking as does her friend and  landlady, Cathy.  Not being able to make a go of it, Tom involves himself with another woman and eventually he and Rachel get divorced.  This is when Rachel moves into a spare bedroom at her friend Cathy's house. She continues to drink and her behaviors become so serious that Cathy gives her an eviction notice. Then feeling guilty about that, Cathy apologizes and takes it back. She keeps trying to get Rachel to stop drinking and get help which Rachel is unable to do. So the two of them go round and round over the drinking issues and those of us who have been enablers know only too well how frustrating and discouraging continuing to try to "move the boulder" becomes too exhausting to continue. This is when we ask for help and if we are lucky and resourceful, are able to get the support and assistance we need. Al-Anon did that for me. Going to meetings and listening to members share their experience, strength and hope anchored me in the storm and led to me find the personal power to change what I could about myself and my situation. In addition, I took advantage of a fellow Al-Anon member's strong suggestion that I would get additional help from the Chemical Dependency counselor she was seeing in a group session weekly. I was open to assistance from an expert in the field of alcoholism/addiction because I believed that person would have the targeted information on the disease rather than what a family counselor could offer. Therefore, I attended the group meeting with my Al-Anon friend and was very impressed with the new information the counselor presented. After the meeting was over, I returned to my home and read the handouts I had collected. Thinking it over and, even though I felt overwhelmed with the facts of co-addiction and addiction, I made a phone call to the counselor to set up an appointment. That step was the next one on my road to recovery. During the counseling session, I learned more facts of the disease..that the progression of the disease was predictable but so was the recovery. There was a recovery time-line for both co's and alcoholic/addict. The counselor had learned many of these facts from her work with co's and alcoholics. She probably knew more about the ramifications of the disease than those who confine their counseling to just the alcoholic/addict. She had the face-to-face contact with clients who shared their experiences which fit into a time-line that were held within these experiences. By acquiring the knowledge that there was an order to recovery and stages the person goes through to reach recovery gave me the strength and hope to continue with the counseling and attending Al-Anon meetings. 
Getting back to the main character, Rachel, in the aforementioned book, not having finished reading the final pages, I do not know if Rachel did finally go to AA meetings to receive help. But as the spouse of a successfully recovered alcoholic/drug addict who still attends AA meetings after more than 30 years, I know she will receive the support and positive assistance should she choose to do whatever it takes to recover and live a healthy life free from addiction. 
Good Karma to you!
Addie Lee

Categories: Education-co-addiction, addiction and recovery

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