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|Posted on August 20, 2013 at 2:00 AM|
According to Alice Lebron, Chemical Dependency Counselor, there are steps to recovery for the co-dependent as well as steps for the chemically dependent person. Knowing these steps as they are defined in the Recovery Timeline provides some relief from the anxiety that many of you co's experience as you face your recovery. There are five phases for recovery and it takes approximately 2 years to complete them. The first four parallel that of recovery for the addict.
PHASE I: ADMISSION - TWO PARTS
1. Admitting to loved one of being addicted
2. Admitting to being affected
Shock - Relief - Euphoria - Denial - 10-90 days
PHASE II: COMPLIANCE - HAS TO ACKNOWLEDGE TO SELF THE CONTINUED WANTING THE ADDICTED
PERSON TO STAY SOBER
1. Difficulty continuing belief in addiction since the addicted person is not using/drinking but acting the same.
2. Anger increases (for every member of the family) - more than during use.
3. Tiredness, confusion, intensity of feelings, difficulty concentrating, difficulty motivating, hyperactivity and
4. Begins to develop sense of self in latter part of phase
6-9 months with the first 30 days most intense and latter part fairly comfortable.
PHASE III: ACCEPTANCE- FOUR PARTS
1. Accepting addiction occurred because of use.
2. Accepting self as not causing addiction.
3. Accepting they cannot "fix" it.
4. Accepting they can have a life of own - with or without the addicted person.
Generally comfortable but some sadness and a need to cry, especially if addicted person has not continued
recovery and divorce is necessary.
Divorce proceedings can be started, if needed.
PHASE IV: SURRENDER: 18-24 MONTHS INTO RECOVERY
Several areas: Responsibility for others, old learning about personal roles, old hurts and angers, the past.
PHASE V: RECONSTRUCTION - ONGOING
Compassion develops in this phase.
I trust that reading this timeline will give you co-dependents some guidance on what you will go through in your recovery. As you proceed through these steps, you will find that you will identify your feelings and actions with the timeline and will have confidence that you will make it to the end. You will be validated that what you feel is "real" and to be expected and you will not berate yourselves that you are not moving forward faster, "having given it all you have got" and doing whatever it takes to achieve your goal of recovery. Your choosing to receive counseling from a knowledgeable counselor during this time will give you the support you will need. Sharing what you are experiencing will bolster your courage in your journey to wellness. All my best to you and faith that you can do it!
Categories: Education-co-addiction, addiction and recovery