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|Posted on July 2, 2014 at 3:53 PM||comments (1)|
On Monday June 30, 2014 the Supreme Court's decision to support Hobby Lobby's petition to deny
paying for contraceptive coverage in the medical plan for their female employees is abhorrent! This is the second recent judgment whereby women are the victims whose rights are removed in favor of a growing faction of religious zealots who are pushing their agenda on female citizens of this country.
The striking down of the 35 foot buffer zone around Massachusetts abortion clinics to keep protesters from approaching patients because it violates the First Amendment right of free speech reeks of approving predatory behavior by protesters. In both findings, women seeking reproductive healthcare are being denied their rights. What has happened to them? Why is it the business of strangers or an employer to interfere with a woman's right to choose? The court is granting the employer ownership
and control of the employee's life, a kind of "slavery". The decision has opened the door to a plethora
of future cases whereby a corporation's power trumps women's rights which are currently being
whittled away to nothingness.
Perhaps a way around the "buffer zone" issue, would be for legislators to focus on how the harassment laws already on the books could be used to protect patients from protesters.
For the reproductive healthcare issue, a suggestion for a solution could be by putting contraceptives in the "Over the Counter" Category if the FDA confirms this would be safe for the consumer.
In any case, legislators need to act on these two women's take-aways and return the "women's right to choose" to the rightful owners.
|Posted on April 27, 2014 at 7:32 PM||comments (471)|
Dear Academy Award Watchers,
Yes, Nebraska, is one of the nominated films for 2013 and portrays Bruce Dern/Woody Grant as an elderly, cantankerous father who thinks he's struck it rich when he receives a junk "Sweepstakes" letter announcing he can collect his million dollars by bringing his winning number to Lincoln. Woody, an alcoholic, displays the alcoholic behaviors which are red flags for that disease. Actress, June Squibb, plays the part of his aggrieved wife, Kate Grant and gives an A-1 performance as the co-dependent, bitchy wife. Observers may come to hate her intensely as the movie edges toward its finale. In reality, co-dependents aren't usually liked that much because of their bitchiness, impatience with the alcoholic and controlling behaviors. Friends and/or family view the alcoholic as the "misunderstood" one and the addict plays into the sympathy as acting like the victim with the self-pity expressed. Woody certainly portrayed this part with much skill. He manipulates his compassionate son, David, played by Will Forte, to drive him to Lincoln to collect his money much to Kate's dismay. On the way to Lincoln, the two stop at Rapid City, South Dakota where Woody goes on a drinking binge, falls in the motel room and cuts his head open, requiring a trip to the local hospital. Discovering that Woody has lost his dentures, father and son retrace Woody's steps and find them beside the railroad tracks in the town. David calls his family to tell them of the recent happenings and that he and his dad will be driving through Hawthorne, Woody's hometown, on the way to Lincoln. Kate decided to hop on the bus and join them. Hearing this news, Woody objects but David drives on to Hawthorne where his uncle and aunt and family live. Arriving there we see the family members subsisting on the verge of poverty because of the recession. The only entertainment in that town sadly seems to be drinking and watching TV of which almost everyone partakes, leading to arguing,threatening and dysfunctional behaviors. At the local bar, Woody goads his son into drinking with him and in the process admits to his alcoholism and problems with the family because of it including his confiding that he really didn't love Kate nor want any children. The pain of this confession is seen on David's face as he listens to the admission. Viewers are able to see the interaction between the alcoholic and co or family member. Alcoholics do not realize the pain they inflict on others, especially when they are drinking but also when they are in the "dry-drunk" after they quit. When they admit there is a problem, stop drinking, accept the need for help and commit to "doing whatever it takes to recover", empathy returns. A co's inability to empathize or sympathize with the alcoholic causes much pain to the family also. When Kate nags at Woody and "puts him down" verbally, David is hurt and soaks up her displeasure within his own psyche unbeknownst to her. This is one of the most important reasons for co's to seek and get help for their co-addiction. Their behaviors have not been acceptable in the conundrum of alcoholism either and replacing them with healthy actions as well as becoming knowledgeable of the fact that alcoholism is a "family disease" leads to their appropriate behaviors, understanding and recovery. There are some redeeming qualities that arise for both Woody and David at the end of the movie but it is unknown how Kate will fare. If you observe this movie with the background knowledge of the disease of alcoholism, you will appreciate even more when those afflicted seek help, participate in their recovery and change their lives to be productive, healthy and happy.
Good Karma, Everybody!
|Posted on March 24, 2014 at 11:18 PM||comments (2)|
Hello, Loyal Readers!
It has been too long since I wrote to you. It seems like time flies by so fast and before I know it, a month or more has passed and I have not written a comment. So I am speaking to that issue today.
Dorrance Publishers of Pittsburgh, PA has just published a new book for which those of you who are pursuing the newest information on Co-Addiction, Addiction and Recovery will find most enlightening.
The title of the new book is:
"A HANDBOOK for the TREATMENT of ALCOHOLISM/ADDICTION"
by Alice M. Lebron, LCSW, MSWAC, BCD Emeritus.
About the Book: Alcoholism, like other forms of addiction, is a complex disease, but treatment does not have to be complicated. The stigma/shame of the disease comes from the behaviors developed from the disease. These behaviors must be addressed and changed using a therapy program. Sobriety is more than abstinence and relapse prevention. Family members are severely emotionally and mentally injured and need as much treatment as the alcoholic/addict so they can become healthy persons.
As a clinical social worker, author Alice M. Lebron has dedicated her career to finding and developing information to help individuals suffering from alcoholism/addiction, as well as people directly affected by the disease-their families. The author believes that "recovery enables a person to become the person they were born to become," and through this book, she aims to guide you and your family down the path of change and healing, which she has been doing for more than forty years.
About the Author: Alice M. Lebron, LCSW, MSWAC, BCD Emeritus served in the United States Air Force for three years before she became a social worker. she was born in Spokane, Washington and has been married for fifty-six years. She and her husband have a daughter and had a son who died five years ago. Alice currently resides in California.
How to purchase:
Write to: Dorrance Publishing Co. Inc. Book Order Dept., 701 Smithfield St., Pittsburgh, PA 15222 or call 1-800-788-7654. Price: $37.00/book plus shipping and handling.
Good Karma, Everybody!
|Posted on February 1, 2014 at 6:57 PM||comments (0)|
On September 25, 2013, the recovered alcoholic/addict in my life celebrated his 30th year of being clean and sober. Over 30 years ago he said "I will never quit drinking!" Today he says, I will continue to live my life without alcohol or drugs. It took him many years to reach his "bottom". But when he did, he surrendered and committed his life to doing whatever it took to live a life free of addiction. He admitted he needed help, quite drinking and using, received support by joining a twelve-step program, finding a sponsor, getting guidance from an educated, knowledgeable chemical dependency counselor and having faith in his Higher Power. The early days of recovery were not easy after the rosy light of admission faded but he moved forward in his program to recover. Because I was so negatively affected by his addiction and my own co-dependency, I sought help and I too went through the 5 stages of recovery that my husband did. I have written specifically about this on a previous blog.
|Posted on January 17, 2014 at 4:05 PM||comments (0)|
When we are constantly being bombarded by the media with the bad news of the world, it is challenging to see the positives in life. However, for those of us who are recovering from co-addiction or addiction, our blessings are with us everyday. For instance, a neighbor of ours telephoned my husband right after Christmas saying "Isn't it great to be sober during the holidays?" This was another reminder of the good feelings around sobriety and recovery that occur. Having that beneficial goodness being pointed out in a simple statement like this brings a smile to the face and a warm feeling in the heart. It is easy to forget how important the positive impact of recovery is on our lives when things go so much better since that change was made and it seems routine. It's like when I faced the diagnosis of breast cancer, I lived and breathed that disease and treatment every waking moment for months. It was never out of my mind and heart. Now, thankfully 13 years later after the diagnosis and treatment, I rarely ever think about that experience. When I do it is when another woman is dealing with that demon and I empathize with her in my waking thoughts. I am thankful for recovery from that illness when our family gathers together for special occasions and I can enjoy every moment; or when one of my granddaughters succeeds in her classes in Nursing School; or when another one is accepted into the Air Force, her waking dream, and we can cheer with her. I am alive and awake and say "Yes" to life! It's great to be here in 2014!
|Posted on November 16, 2013 at 3:40 PM||comments (0)|
Watching Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, Canada on the current TV newscasts, all of us observers are witnessing just exactly what addiction looks like in the person who has this disease. It is quite shocking to hear Mayor Ford talk about the stress he has been under for the past six months, basically excusing the unconscionable alcoholic/drug addicted behavior he has shown to the public. He doesn't realize, nor is he capable at this point in his addiction, of acknowledging his illness nor of understanding just how the past six months, and probably years, have been for his wife, Renata, and family members who are most likely experiencing his intolerable behavior "stone, cold sober". He is bluntly showing all of us what "Denial" looks like in the addicted - the superior, grandiose behavior of self-centeredness, the self-pity, the hostile, abusive aggressiveness of his manner and most pointedly his inability to be truthful and to have empathy for others. His wife looked like a "shrinking violet" as she stood beside him, experiencing deep emotional pain as he apologized for a crude remark he is reported to have said. Renata looked extremely embarrassed beside him, living up to the role of the loyal wife for the public. It seems to me that it was shameful for the Mayor to even have her appear with him while he making such an a..............of himself. I trust the Mayor's wife has the resources to assist and steer her in the right direction for getting help for herself because, based on what is known of a co-dependent's behavior, she needs it desperately and now is the time for her empowerment and self-preservation. As Gloria Steinem said "Power can be taken, but not given. The process of the taking is empowerment in itself."
|Posted on November 15, 2013 at 6:15 PM||comments (0)|
On September 25, the recovered alcoholic/addict in my life celebrated his 30th Birthday of "Clean and Sober" - his recovery from addiction. Over thirty years ago, he said that he would "never quit drinking!" Today, he says he will "stay clean and sober" the rest of his life. Since he admitted his problem and sought help from a 12 step recovery program as well as counseling from a chemical dependency counselor, he has lived what he promised himself he would do. He took the steps to recovery. The road was not comfortable in the beginning after he got past the rosy glow of celebrating his surrender to admitting that he needed help. To recover, he depended on the support from the other recovering addicts in a twelve step program, his belief in a "Higher Power" and the trust in the educated words of the chemical dependency counselor who guided him in the 5 stages of recovery. As he went through recovery, so did I. I learned the 5 stages of recovery I would experience and even though it took me two years, I knew what to expect in each stage and learned how to face and deal positively with each feeling and situation as it came along. I have written about these 5 stages in a previous blog. All the steps are outlined clearly so those of you who read about the process, will see that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel" if you are willing to do whatever it takes to live a healthy, happy life free from addiction. The truth about recovery from addiction is that it is possible! It can be and is being done by those who are willing to admit they need help and have the strength and courage to seek that help. Ms. Alice Lebron, chemical dependency counselor, states that people who have been addicted and have done whatever it took to become clean and sober, many time do not give themselves credit for what they have accomplished. They have turned their lives around by changing their behavior to be constructive and thus, they experience the joy and serenity of their efforts. As a recovered co, I have experience this same happy and healthy reality. Family members and friends continue to see the results of this positive change. We are all thankful for the lives we now live. Yes, I repeat, it can be done! Go for it!
|Posted on August 20, 2013 at 2:00 AM||comments (2)|
According to Alice Lebron, Chemical Dependency Counselor, there are steps to recovery for the co-dependent as well as steps for the chemically dependent person. Knowing these steps as they are defined in the Recovery Timeline provides some relief from the anxiety that many of you co's experience as you face your recovery. There are five phases for recovery and it takes approximately 2 years to complete them. The first four parallel that of recovery for the addict.
PHASE I: ADMISSION - TWO PARTS
1. Admitting to loved one of being addicted
2. Admitting to being affected
Shock - Relief - Euphoria - Denial - 10-90 days
PHASE II: COMPLIANCE - HAS TO ACKNOWLEDGE TO SELF THE CONTINUED WANTING THE ADDICTED
PERSON TO STAY SOBER
1. Difficulty continuing belief in addiction since the addicted person is not using/drinking but acting the same.
2. Anger increases (for every member of the family) - more than during use.
3. Tiredness, confusion, intensity of feelings, difficulty concentrating, difficulty motivating, hyperactivity and
4. Begins to develop sense of self in latter part of phase
6-9 months with the first 30 days most intense and latter part fairly comfortable.
PHASE III: ACCEPTANCE- FOUR PARTS
1. Accepting addiction occurred because of use.
2. Accepting self as not causing addiction.
3. Accepting they cannot "fix" it.
4. Accepting they can have a life of own - with or without the addicted person.
Generally comfortable but some sadness and a need to cry, especially if addicted person has not continued
recovery and divorce is necessary.
Divorce proceedings can be started, if needed.
PHASE IV: SURRENDER: 18-24 MONTHS INTO RECOVERY
Several areas: Responsibility for others, old learning about personal roles, old hurts and angers, the past.
PHASE V: RECONSTRUCTION - ONGOING
Compassion develops in this phase.
I trust that reading this timeline will give you co-dependents some guidance on what you will go through in your recovery. As you proceed through these steps, you will find that you will identify your feelings and actions with the timeline and will have confidence that you will make it to the end. You will be validated that what you feel is "real" and to be expected and you will not berate yourselves that you are not moving forward faster, "having given it all you have got" and doing whatever it takes to achieve your goal of recovery. Your choosing to receive counseling from a knowledgeable counselor during this time will give you the support you will need. Sharing what you are experiencing will bolster your courage in your journey to wellness. All my best to you and faith that you can do it!
|Posted on June 25, 2013 at 1:31 AM||comments (2)|
|Posted on June 11, 2013 at 2:05 AM||comments (0)|
I shall be writing a lengthy article on Jock Rape as a Secret in the next few days because this topic has at last being acknowledged as the serious crime it is. Please stay tuned and I will get back to my blog as soon as I can. Thanks for your patience..